this is me - take it or leave it!

all right kids - what you are about to read might make you question your friendship with me. I mean how can one girl be so utterly disgusting? I write this now in the wee hours of the night in order to avoid getting teased about for one more day -but the time has come for me to share my uber disgusting poop story.

poop poop 1-2-3
why you always picking on me?
I wake up in the morning feeling fine
then you come along and blow my mind
running up a hill shouldn't be a big pain
but for some damn reason my body is lame
I made it up the hill in one piece
but on the way down was no feast
one minute everything looked dandy
then some farts came out smelling not like candy
holy crap she's gonna blow
but there is no where I can safely go
what the freak do I do I'm in the middle of pac heights?
slow down cars this is going to be a phat sight!
no where to run, no where to hide
I have no choice but to let it all slide
out my hole and into my underwear
damn this mofo is as big as a bear
a big crap now sits in my pants
I'll just walk it off like it's a new dance
ho hum no one look at me
cuz my butt is full of poo-ey
luckily MAC was gone or else I would have cried
I climbed my dirty ass up the stairs being safe inside
peeling off my diapers was as gross as you can guess
fortunately for me I didn't make too big of a mess
jumped in the shower and tried to erase the memory
but I know this will forever be entched in history
I hope I don;t lose all my friends
cuz something this gross could mean the end
for who in their right mind wants to be seen
hanging out with the girl pants pooping?

patience

ok so I am totally going to share my lovely story...events this morning are forcing me to share...will explain later though - actually busy at work!

gross

I have a gross story involving poop. do I dare share?!

tv and the court

I am so ecstatic right now. I was stressing out last night as I was called into jury duty (for my first time ever) and I have some majro deadlines and meetings this week. bottom line - I was going to get out of duty whatevere way I can. So I go - they tell us 9:30 but people are still trickling in at 10. they give us a break down of what to expect and show us a nice little clip about what being a juror is all about. sweet.

so then the guy was like - they were a number of you assigned to courtroom 28 but due to something they decided to push back trial till next week. SO instead of having s all wait another week - they get dismissed. He goes on and on about ohh this is a good and bad thing since maybe people want to stay and I am like read the damn names MAN!!! so he reads off two names and I am like shit - not in alphabetical order...and then he called miss chicajato!!!!I jumped out of my seat and bee lined for the elevator! WHOO HOO! I am done for a year. I can't believe how lucky I am. that was the best case scenario that could have happened to me!

on another happy note - i love entourage and I love "on demand" HBO that lets me watch every episode back to back!

so you think you can dance is on tonight!

3 weekends in a row

we went to Silver Cloud! how lame/almost cool is that?! marguerite and I actually sang this time..or rapped if you will...to I like big butts!

it was awesome seeing everyone on Sat - I love house parties with jazz bands!

I got my raise for work....I think I am happy - but still feeling a little annoyed that MBAs are making a CRAP LOAD more money than I am. Not that I don't value their knowledge gained from the MBA - but I have more years of work experience - doesn't that mean anything?

MAC and I got a chair and a half that pulls out into a bed so anyone wanting to visit is welcome! the damn chair cost like 100 more than a normal sized sofa bed that can sit like 4 people. what up with that? Supply and demand sucks

fri night

I think I forgot to whine about how lame our fri night was. just to recap. paid $48 to see "pea pods" which is black eyes peas incognito. I NEVER pay that much for tickets but MAC actually owns that CD and really likes them and I like some of their songs and they seem like they would be fun live and I really wanted to go cehck out the independent so we paid. Here is everything that went wrong:

• I paid 48 for tickets
• the opening band was only OK
• the stupid peas didn't come on until 12:45
• I find out that the peas were done with their opening act for DMB at like 8 so what the hell took so long?
• the peas played like one of their mainstream songs - the rest was what you call freestyle
• freestyle was cool for like a second and then all they did was have each instrument player play for like 10 minutes solos
• my pants were soaking up all the liquor that was puddled on the floor
• we were standing next to obnoxious dancer

positives about the show:

• hanging out with some cool kats
• the venue KICKS ASS

I'm with that girl

I was famous last night...well, I was "press" last night which means VIP treatment baby! not really, but I got into a movie screening for free at the metreon! My friend is a freelance columnist - how cool is that? Anyway - she writes monthly movie reviews and so she gets to see all these movies for free. her and I have a love of scary movies...not thrillers, not suspense movies - flat out scary movies. These days it is damn hard to find a good scary movie. Sadly, out hopes at a good movie last night were thwarted by a pathetic attempt at thriller. We saw Red Eye which by the previews totally seemed like a legit movie. Not to spoil it or anything but damn it was lame. too slow in the beginning and then the whole action takes place in like 5 minutes. crazy

she is also going to law school this year with La sassy. she was floored by the number of 21 year olds flocking around. During one of her break out groups she was actually called the matriarch of the group. tell me that makes you sick! she is like 27!

where did you go

why didn't my US come to my home on sat? what am I supposed to do on sunday when my brain actually hurts from watching too much crappy tv?

I am about to embark on a 4 hour training session regarding ethics training. 2 hour online training is not enough. we also get to embrace 4 hours live training. I will not go on about my opinion regarding such training and its uselessness but I will say I am not happy to go. Fine - let me go off a little. I think training is so lame. you really think 6 hours a year is going to change an unethical employee into a do gooder?! I guess awareness is one step in the right direction but you can;t change someone's decision making process with a class room lecture. not saying there is a better alternative - except like don;'t hire unethical people...whatever that means.

Oh so I am actually in the office today. Kind of nice - met a new hire that seems really cool so that makes me happy. esp since my fun work group has shrivelled down to almost nonexistent:(

YUCK

the toilet deciding to squirt me in the today. Not like I sit staring at the toilet - I don't even know how it happened. the damn thing goes crazy when you flush it.

not sure what the deal is with my blog being bombarded with junk comments yesterday - but I do believe them when they say I am doing a great job with my blog. thanks so much internet man for sharing your opinion with me and leaving behind some great links for me to peruse in my time off.

my cold has remained steadily annoying. not uber sick but not feeling so hot either. today is just dragging on. I just want to sleep. I am waiting for the client to give me feedback on my summary of their processes. how annoying is that? little old me telling them what they do?! like they don;t already know?! so silly the things I do for work.

I want

a freaking computer that works. I hate when my damn outlook takes 10 minutes to load since my archive folder did not close down properly. screw you computer. I don't even use the damn archive folder. and why the hell is my internet not responding? my cookies are not enables? yes they are asshole.

why am I sick right now? I rarely get colds. I am skipping the gym because I am sick but I am not really THAT sick. I am being a pus$y.

why are these people asking me questions that I have no freaking clue about? I don;t know if data transferred to vendors is encrypted. what the hell does that even mean?

why are there so many lame ass drivers on the freeway?? stop pressing your damn breaks. If you let go off the gas your car will slow down.

why am I venting right now? Cuz I have to go to the bathroom and it is not goin g to be pretty:P

surreal life

yup - this weekend was, according to MAC, surreal! I mean how often do I get hit in the face with a ball spiked by my boyfriend, have my boyfriend attacked by a lovely doggy, and get to see a very large man squeal in the highest pitched voice sherry baby?! we had such a lovely sat in the park - happy bday la sassy!

I am now sitting in my 10 person cube biting my nails as I am somewhat overwhelmed with work...they gave me such an unrealistic timeline and I did my best to push out the date but still feeling the pressure to hurry. me no like that.

speaking of nails - I am never going back to the $10 manicure place. My nails have never been so crappy. they are tearing left and right for no freaking reason. every single one of my nails has torn and the edges are all jacked up. I am pissed. oh and my hair is looking like crap. I pushed my hair cut out too long so now I am paying the price!

shout out to my sis who gave me a subscription to US for my bday. every week I get the lovely surprise of hollywood gossip at my front door. funny though - reading trent every day kind of puts US to shame.

working

although I have been pushed back on getting work done since the client is busy, I have to say it is nice having to actually get my butt up in the morning and get ready for work. even though the idea of staying home forever sounds lovely - I just don't think I would be ok living off of MTV reruns every day. and I am sure I would find things to occupy my time but it would probably get old. or not. who knows.

so thanks to a lovely talk with andrea this weekend - I think I have figured out my career plans. I think I want to be involved with internal HR as a recruiter. Campus recruiting and event planning sounds perfect to me - and one day I would maybe do exec hire. this all sounds perfect in my head but will be pretty hard to execute. not an easy field to get into - but hopefully my charm is all I need!

it was such a nice weekend in SF - great weather, saw lots of pals, took a nice long walk with morgan around the city. My new thing is to take walks. great time to spend with friends, no money involved, and you are outdoors!